Big wheel spinning

As far as witches go, my friend Zelda is the good kind. She’s good in that she excels at witchery and she’s good in that she uses her powers for positive missions. One of my oldest and closest friends in Austin, I still find Zelda to be like an old, ornate chest of drawers. One drawer is for the silver; another is for the skeleton keys; that one over there is for video games. One of the nooks in the mysterious Zelda hutch is her tarot reading. 

At her summer solstice party (because of course she had one), we drank too many margaritas, had some Victorian-recipe desserts, and ducked into her bedroom to get our cards read. One-card readings are always the best for my short attention span, and that’s all we had time to on the solstice. I’ve written about the ups and downs of my year, and the beginning of the summer marked the beginning of some deep dark caves – but also some truly surprising bright spots. 

Zelda pulled the Wheel of Fortune card. She noted that she doesn’t pull this card very frequently, that it was special. Reading up on this card again, my sources repeat the same three elements: Good change is coming; it’s out of your control; accept it and accept help.

About 45 minutes, Sam pulled the same card.

Believe in tarot (exciting, fun, spooky) or don’t (stodgy, know-it-all, no fun alert), it’s not my problem. But in the months since June, I have been in the depths of changing antidepressants. I have had unprecedented self-loathing. I have felt isolated and confused. But in all of these dark places, there was something pulling me up. I was down in the water and the wheel of a mill kept picking me back up by the seat of my pants, without me having to struggle. I passed a certification test I felt unprepared for. Sam got another job. I got asked to write for a blog I really love. I had great luck with my Patreon. When I was feeling dumpy, a street style photographer posted my outfit. When I was feeling tired and boring, Spotify spurred us to get out and see some truly incredible artists.

The wheel of fortune is real, baby, but I have a secret: the call was coming from inside the house. This lucky card gave me a way to thank the universe for things that we had both worked hard for. It gave us an excuse to be pulled by the current of universal goodwill that we had paved the way for, but only so few get when they really need it. 

I am letting the wheel keep turning. Let your most open-minded friends open your mind and let the good stuff in when you’re used to paddling upstream for your big break.